21Six.net

There comes a time in the life of every comic book fan when he must look at what he reads, and attempt to figure out just how much he wants to talk about what he reads and how awesome it is and Oh My God, dude, on page 10 he totally–

Let me start over.

All-Star Batman and Robin the Boy Wonder is the second series in DC’s new “All-Star” line–which I assume is something like their take on Marvel’s “Ultimate” line–and is written by comic madman and genius Frank Miller. Miller, as may know, is the writer of Batman: Year One, Sin City, 300, and many others including Batman: The Dark Knight Returns¹. It can be established, just from the first issue, that Frank Miller is either lost his goddamn mind, or he’s a genius in telling an elaborate parody of the modern take on comics that his work assisted in creating.

While the stories are wonderful, they seem to have a rate of being publish that’s about one issue every 15 and a half years. There’s only six issues out at the time of this writing, with a seventh having been on the way for longer that I can even remember. I’m pretty sure I managed to get a Masters, though.

When the first few pages of the series features Vicki Vale going off the deep end about how excited she is about her date with Bruce Wayne² to the circus, to see The Flying Graysons. Bruce, apparently, had been scouting young Richard for some time, wanting to recruit him for his “war”. The issue ended with a mourning Grayson held in the air by Batman, who says to him “You’ve just been drafted into a war.”

Issue two, however, is notable for having one of the best lines in any comic book. Ever.

That very line cements this series as, quite possibly, the best comic ever. That in almost every subsequent (of the four…) issues that are out, they attempt to work in “The Goddamn Batman” only makes it better. My only wish is they change the title to “The Goddamn Batman” or make a movie using that.

The series also features several other great instances in later issues that just add to the love I have for the series. Like The Goddamn Batman kicking through the windshield of a police cruiser screaming “Eat glass, Lawman!”, Batman beating muggers and rapists to bloody pulps while laughing. And Wonder Woman calling men “sperm banks”. What almost beats it all is Dick Grayson, in the Batmobile, thinking to himself about how Batman is trying real hard to do a Clint Eastwood voice.

My only hope is that this series releases another issue before I die doesn’t cut off after some 20 issues, but keeps going until it eventually works in most of Batman’s regular continuity. I mainly want to see what the hell Frank is gonna do to The Joker, but I know it’s going to be great.

Of course, I do actually have problems with this series. Real problems. Problems like how this is “…and Robin”, yet Robin actually hasn’t made an appearance yet. Dick has been in the Cave, eating bugs–or hamburgers if he gets something from Alfred. However, both Black Canary³ and BATGIRL have been introduced. I understand that there obviously has to be some kind of proper training for Robin to exist, but really, Batgirl? No real villain has even been introduced it. Batman is just setting street-level thugs on fire ["You don't know from screwed!"] with chemicals and making fun of Superman for being a huge wuss.

As it should be.

Again, this book is hilarious. If you want to read it, you should not attempt to take it seriously, or even attempt to compare it to the main Batman. It’s like comparing apples to a tumor on your finger. Exactly. Miller is plainly not taking the book seriously, and anyone who *does* take it seriously needs something done. But you should read it, regardless. If anything just to see Nutjob Batman going on about the glory of beating people to a pulp.

Buy it now. Or download it, then buy it. Just read it.

1. DKR is considered one of the must-haves of anyone claiming to be a fan of either Batman or comics in general. It’s one of the few books that will cause people within the comic community to think less of you for not reading. Not reading it also discounts your opinion in any elaborate discussion involving this stuff. It’s like Moore’s Watchmen. People will stab you in your sleep if you haven’t read it. [↩]
2. “I’M GOING ON A DATE WITH BRUCE WAYNE” is on the first three pages at least 750 times. True story. [↩]
3. Love Chunks. [↩]