21Six.net

Now I just know that all of you missed my reviews of restrooms, wondering when I was going to stop with all the comic book talk and go back to doing what I do best–well, here it is. Our review today is for Cheeseburger In Paradise, located at 8301 Eagle Lake Drive in Evansville, Indiana.

Odor – 4
There wasn’t a whole lot of smell to the place. It wasn’t really funky, nor was it really perfume-y. I would have preferred something, so I didn’t have to worry about smelling the people in the stall next to me, but that kind of thing can’t really be avoided. Of course, I also would have preferred even smelling some kind of cleanser. That at least gives the impression that you’re actually cleaning.
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Cleanliness – 4
The bathroom seemed, generally, clean. I didn’t get a white-glove out and personally inspect everything, but it seemed okay. The floor could have used a good sweeping, and that kind of bugged me–I don’t like seeing large clumps of dust and dirt on the ground inside of a building. The toilets, oddly enough, seemed pretty clean. It’s like they just didn’t bother with the floor.
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Appearance – 7
While I didn’t like how it looked, I must give them credit for going all out for their Tropical, Beach, etc., theme. The walls were painted blue, with hand-painted fish of various kinds. It was very bright, and lively–it certainly made moving my bowels much more invigorating. Only not really. There were also bamboo-looking panels on the bottom part of the walls, that went along into the sand-colored stalls.

The non-handicapped stall was, for me, pretty small. There wasn’t a lot of room for much of anything–by that I mean, the bathrooms of the Target I reviewed had some room. Enough so that you couldn’t rest your head on the wall if you leaned a little bit in either direction. These don’t have that. Combined with the lack of light in the stall (the stalls are always dark) and the brown colors, it makes being in the stalls kind of like sitting in a grave with at toilet.
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Functionality – 7
Thankfully, everything worked like it was supposed to. The toilets weren’t clogged and the urinals weren’t exploding all over the floor.
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Comfort of Toilet Paper – 3
The same, great toilet paper we’ve all come to expect.
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Number of Stalls/Urinals
Two urinals and two stalls–one handicapped.
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Getting past all of the minor problems that someone could have with this bathroom, it’s easy to see that you could miss one of the few good points that I discovered: They played music. Now, you’re probably thinking “But, Kris, what the hell do I care about music when I’m sitting here trying to pass something as big as a watermelon through my bowels?”

First, ew. Eat a salad or something. Or drink more water.

Second, it’ll be nice for the other people to not have to listen to carrying on. The music–which ranges from (what I could to be) UB40′s cover of I Can’t Help Falling In Love With You to Death Cab For Cutie’s Soul Meets Body. I believe James Taylor and other people were played there, too, but I can’t remember the song. The music is very nice, it makes it even better whenever you’re the only person in the bathroom–because there’s nothing worse than sitting in a quiet bathroom with nothing to occupy your thoughts but the tiles on the floor.

As for the sinks and everything–they give you two sinks, with two bottles of Softsoap liquid soap and a basket filled with papertowels.

There isn’t anything automatic in this place–the toilets, urinals, and sinks are all manual flush/activation. This place isn’t the worst I’ve been to, no, that goes to Ace Hardware, and that’ll be the subject of the next review–but I don’t really know when that one will be. Stay tuned, or something.